McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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