Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
