Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
