I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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