I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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