so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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