Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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