the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
