i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
