mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
please don't ironically join a cult
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
