the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
