I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize