Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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