i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
