If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
