he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
