Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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