Cold hands, warm shart.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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