They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize