I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can Purell be used as lube?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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