i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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