why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
