: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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