We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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