I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
