im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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