U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
