That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize