Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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