6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
