I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
