No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize