Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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