spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
