I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
