Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
