even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
