Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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