at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
