I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
