Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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