i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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