Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
