Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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