i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
