i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
