Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
