Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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