Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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