Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
