Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
