I wanna passion pit in your ass
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
