I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
