I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
not ubering you a puppy
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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