Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
