are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
