While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
