My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
