Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Randomize
