nut hugger
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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