RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
