The maid of honor just puked.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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