well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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