I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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