I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize