Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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