I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
