My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
